#1 Lesson from F***ing Around + Finding Out

For Jesus

As a 6/3 in Human Design, the first phase of my life-path is literally double-coded for “fucking around and finding out.” And, lemme tell ya darlin’, I have fucked around and I have found out.

While my 20s witnessed many moments of chaos and wading through my parents’ absolute dismay, I know the path of transformation is something I came here encoded for. Literally. The Gene Key of my Life’s Work is 47: Transmutation.

And life, in its mischievous generosity, has given me manyyyy classrooms to learn within.

I’ve known what it feels like to stand at the top of the mountain, singing praises to the highest, dripping in presence and euphoria. And, I’ve also known what it feels like to fall, hard, off the edge of that same mountain. I’ve smacked the bottom so hard my titties bounced and uglyyy cried the cathartic tears of being cracked open by betrayal, fear and forgetting.

And yet, through every season, there has been one unwavering prayer running through it all:

Let me be love. Let me know love. Let me serve love.

It took years of riding life’s wild range of highs and lows to understand what this prayer truly meant.

And, let me start by saying that when I began walking what I now understand as the Christed path, it wasn’t because I “found Jesus” first. It was because my life kept collapsing around everything that wasn’t love, until love was the only thread remaining to hold onto.

So, what does it actually look like to walk the path of love when life holds both ecstasy and heartache? Well, here is the biggest cheat code I’ve learned (drum roll please) . . .

✨ GIVE YOURSELF FULLY TO THE PRESENT MOMENT ✨

It took me a long time to understand that love is only ever available through presence.

Love is a state of being, a disposition with life. It requires you to have the willingness to meet the present moment exactly as it is.

And, whether the moment is blissful or excruciating, the question is always the same:

Can I meet this moment, this exact one, with my heart open?

That’s the whole secret.

When you choose to bring love into a moment that doesn’t feel lovable, something sacred happens. You consecrate yourself as holy ground, becoming a living temple where the grace and intelligence of God can fully land.

But let’s be real for a moment: If this is the path, why the f*** does it feel so out of reach sometimes? Well, here are two primary reasons:

1. We resist what is.

And resistance, baby, is just fear wearing a shitty cape.

We spend so much of our precious life trying to shield ourselves from what we don’t want, terrified we’ll be contaminated, misunderstood, swallowed by discomfort or cast out. But that very resistance is what pulls us out of the present moment, stopping us from fully enjoying the good and severing us from our power to alchemize what doesn’t feel right.

The truth is that every moment you resist is a moment you abandon yourself. Let me show you what I mean:

Scenario 1:

You’re in a conversation and someone crosses a boundary. A truth rises in your chest but instead of speaking it, you stay quiet to “keep the peace.” And right in that moment, you silence a part of yourself that is yearning to be heard. You uphold the old pattern. You give away your power. And, you don’t give the other person your authenticity, which keeps them from knowing the real you and doesn’t provide them with an opportunity to repair the rupture (that’s a bad look, darlin’).

To meet the moment in love is to honor the truth that rises within you and speak it with presence and compassion to invite connection and healing. Love is not silence for the sake of peace when it comes at the cost of self-abandonment. It is expressing truth with grace and setting healthy boundaries so that those we love can learn how to love us better.

Scenario 2:

You’re with someone and they begin to express deep sadness. Instead of fully making space for it, you tighten. Not because you don’t care but because it feels uncomfortable or overwhelming. But every time you shut out someone else’s pain, you also shut down your own openness. Your capacity for intimacy shrinks. Your nervous system learns that emotions, whether yours or someone else’s, aren’t safe to feel.

To meet this moment in love is to stay open in the presence of another’s pain without taking it on as your own. When you resist their sadness, you close the door to your own emotional depth. But when you remain present, you expand your capacity for true intimacy.

Love does not fix or carry. It simply stays, anchoring in presence.

2. We allow avoidance to feed off of resistance.

Our culture is built on busyness (full calendars, measuring worth by productivity) and distraction (compulsively checking emails, scrolling). We’ve been conditioned to ruminate about the past, project worry into the future and spend the present moment analyzing all the things we wish were different. The collective mind has become expert at doing anything other than sit presently in the now.

I’ve been there. I’ve run from the present moment more times than I can count. I still catch myself doing it. But, eventually, you realize that NOW is the only thing that exists.

And, while it may sound radical, whatever the present moment is presenting NOW is perfect.

Not because it always feels good but because it is precisely designed for you to develop a deeper sense of self-mastery by meeting it with love.

This is the Christed path. Not worshiping a man on a cross, but embodying the consciousness He lived. It asks for acceptance and presence and costs you your resistance and avoidance. It is not always glamorous for it demands that you shed every false identity, speak with authenticity even when your voice shakes and have the courage to open your heart in moments of pain. It demands that you take responsibility for your own projections and limitations and return them back into the purity of the heart.

Gene Key 28 states, “The only way to kill a demon is to absorb it into the light inside yourself.” Not to fight it or resist it but to open your heart and let that distorted fragment dissolve back into wholeness. In this mental, sovereign, human experience, “demons” are nothing other than your own fear distortions. Whether it be fear, shame, anger, insecurity or resistance, the path of love and alchemy is the path or turning toward, not turning away.

While it may seem daunting, you came here built for this.

Christ did not leave you a path to worship. He left you the blueprint of a path to walk.

So to those of you who are choosing, again and again, to return to Love even when it would be easier to close…

I see you.
I honor you.
I celebrate you.

You are the ones who will change this world through the simple, holy act of bringing love into the moment that’s in front of you.

In love,

Jade

BONUS: How do you breakthrough resistance and avoidance? Meditation, baby! You’ve gotta build up the metacognition that allows you to access the sacred pause.

10 minutes of meditation per day is 0.69% of the day. 0.69%!! You literally have no excuse.

For pre-recorded meditations, support creating your own rising ritual or deeper 1:1 mentorship: click here